Bachelorette Blues
by Amongthegreats
Summary: Sometimes being the bride isn't always the best thing to celebrate ... Inspired by the Maka bachelorette party headcanon going around Tumblr.


**A/N: A slight disclaimer: I've never been to a bachelorette party, and I've never been engaged so I'm not sure how all this works. I saw a head canon on Tumblr about Maka's bachelorette party and what'd she do if a stripper showed up so ... Here it is! Sorry if this sucks. M because there's a lot of fucking stuff in here and I don't wanna get in trouble. Also: I took some of the alcohol drink ideas from the Applebee's menu. I don't drink alcohol so ... Yep. I don't own Soul Eater or these alcoholic drinks. Enjoy!**

* * *

She had asked for no party.

Maka didn't even want to hear the words "bachelorette" and "party" in the same paragraph as each other, let alone the same sentence. Knowing Liz and Blair though, she expected to put up some kind of fight. Those two would throw her into one of those awful parties with their bare hands if they wanted to.

Maka was worried.

It was Friday night, and Soul had gotten dragged out of their cozy apartment for his own night on the town by Black*Star and Kid. Maka wasn't too worried about them considering Kid had tagged along and she doubted the new Shinigami would do anything too stupid, but that left her open to whatever Liz and Blair felt up to. So not worth it. The young woman cautiously eyed the cat cleaning her paws on the couch as she stepped towards the phone. Maka took a deep breath in, and dialed the number as quick as she could before Blair could notice.

As she played with the phone line a little, twirling it between her finger tips, she glanced over at the purple cat again. No change. So far, so good.

She tapped her foot impatiently as the phone rang, her eyes adjusting to Blair's sleeping form on the couch every so often. Finally, after the fifth ring the other line picked up, a greeting ringing through instead.

"Hey, Tsubaki," Maka responded.

"How are you, Maka?"

Maka shrugged, then shook her head as she realized Tsubaki couldn't see her. She has been having way too many mirror phone calls with Kid lately.

"Um, I'm fine I guess. Do you want to come over? I rented a new movie, but Soul's not here so I figured maybe you'd want to watch it instead. You know, like a girl's night in," Maka explained.

She heard Tsubaki hum in the other line, making her decision.

"Well if Soul's out, then maybe we should go out too. I've got some cash, how about I take you out to a nice dinner, a maid of honor sort of thing."

Maka tugged the line around her finger tips, her eyes darting back to the cat. She seemed asleep ... Maybe it wouldn't hurt to go out with Tsubaki. It was only dinner after all. How bad could it be? Heck, she was getting married in less than four weeks, and her soon to be spouse was out with his friends probably getting a few drinks. Why not go out and grab a bite with her best friend?

"Sounds great. So, where do you want to go," Maka agreed.

Tsubaki laughed a little as something rustled on her side of the line.

"Let me see if I can find it ... I know Black*Star had a card for it around here somewhere ... Ah! There it is," Tsubaki said more to herself than to Maka, "Ok, how's a reservation for two at the new restaurant downtown? I heard they serve a little bit of everything, and it's a bit spacious in the back."

"I like it. It's seven forty five right now, so how about reservations for eight thirty?"

"Eight thirty it is! See you later, Maka."

"See ya too," Maka replied before she hung up.

Maka tip toed around to the couch to check on Blair again. She was still sleeping, curled up into a little ball on her side. Her mouth was curved up, almost as if she were smirking. Maka wore a smirk herself, crossing her arms across her chest and daring to poke her tongue out at the sleeping cat a little too.

"So smug are you? Well, no party for me tonight. I have dinner with Tsubaki. How do you like that," She taunted.

The cat slept on.

Maka uncrossed her arms, her moment of pride for beating out the cat's plans passing.

"Now I just gotta get dressed," Maka mumbled to herself as she walked through her bedroom doorway.

She heard the cat yawn as she opened her dresser drawers, searching for a better skirt and shirt to wear than her ratty sweats and hoodie. Blair lazily walked through the room, nudging her head against Maka's leg.

"So you want to go out with Blair and Liz after all? I knew you'd come around to the idea," Blair purred as she jumped onto Maka's made bed.

Maka shook her head, a stupid smirk tugging at her lips.

"Nope, I'm actually going out to dinner with Tsubaki. Reservations for two, so no," She said as the cat started to open her mouth, "You can't come along."

Blair pouted, her head resting on her paws.

"Aw! No fair!"

Maka smiled to herself as she pulled out a clean button up shirt, and a patterned skirt Patti had gotten her for her birthday. The girl giggled something about the pattern looking a bit like animals when she gave it to her, but to Maka it just looked like colored polka dots. It was a little on the short side, but the bodycon skirt matched Maka's top just fine so she didn't mind. Hell, she'd been fighting in a skirt for years, this really didn't matter.

It was just a night out for dinner after all.

* * *

Turns out, the new restaurant was just a block or two from Maka's apartment. Tsubaki came by wearing a dark blue high-low hemmed skirt and a black button up tank top around eight. She and Maka walked to the restaurant since Soul took the bike, and quite honestly Maka never made it too far on it without him. Most of the times she nearly crashed trying to get it out of the parking spot.

When they arrived, the two young women had to wait in the front for a few minutes as their table was getting finished setting up, but Maka didn't mind. On the way to their table, she and Tsubaki chatted about how their day went, following the waitress close behind. They were lead to the back room, and Tsubaki was right. The place was pretty spacious, considering no one else was using it.

Maka wondered why the waitress led them all the way to such a big room for a party of two people, but Tsubaki didn't question it so neither did she. They sat down after setting down their bags on the backs of their chairs, taking the menu in their hands.

"I'll be back in a few minutes to see what your group would like to drink," The waitress informed them with a smile before she left.

"Hm ... That was a bit ... Weird," Maka commented.

Tsubaki looked up from her menu, her eyebrow raised.

"What do you mean," She asked, causing Maka to roll her eyes.

"Tsubaki, why are you acting weird too? I mean, doesn't it seem off that they sent us to this huge table in this huge room when there's like only two of us here? I mean, we could have taken a booth, or a regular table, or, hell, even a seat at the bar. So why this table?"

Tsubaki shrugged, her eyes falling back down to her menu.

"Um, I don't really know Maka."

"But-"

She was cut off by an arm wrapping around her shoulders and a big cheer. Maka looked up to see a rhinestone tiara be placed on the crown on her head, and feathers come crashing down around her neck.

"Lookie here, it's the lucky bride and the maid of honor," Liz cheered.

Behind her Patti giggled as she took a seat and started coloring in the kid's pages of the menu.

"Liz, what-"

"Sh," Liz silenced Maka as she placed tissue paper filled bags in the corner of the room, "This is your night! We're gonna have some fun!"

Blair entered the room, carrying a chair with pink cushions and studs.

"Liz, Blair, Patti, Tsubaki. I really appreciate this, honestly, but I just don't do crazy parties like this," Maka whined trying not to suffocate on the pink feathers around her neck.

"I'm sorry I tricked you Maka, but this is going to fun! We can talk, listen to music, eat, drink some wine, and just let loose," Tsubaki explained.

Across the room was a pop as Blair opened a mini confetti popper.

Liz sat down next to Maka and snuck a peek at the alcoholic section of the menu before cooing the waitress over.

"Have you decided what you ladies would like to drink," The waitress asked smiling.

Maka wanted to rip that smile right off her perky little face. Maybe she put this ridiculous boa around her god damn neck and have her run around the room taking orders with the damn thing.

"I would like the red apple sangria please," Liz answered, returning the smile Maka hated so much at that moment.

"What would you like dear," She asked Patti.

Patti also smiled - what was with the fucking smiling tonight - and replied, "A chocolate shake!"

The waitress nodded as she wrote down on her note pad before turning to Tsubaki.

"I would like a glass of red wine," Tsubaki replied politely.

At least her smile was like any of her other smiles. It still pissed Maka off a little, but atleast it was a Tsubaki smile.

"And what would you like ma'am," The waitress asked Maka.

Maka slouched down a bit more into the realm of the fucking feathered boa, trying to hide her annoyance but failing.

"Nothing, I'm fine-"

"She'd like a glass of your finest wine," Liz chimed in.

Maka shot Liz a look, but the blonde seemed to ignore it as she checked out the menu more.

"Great! I'll be back with your drinks in just a minute."

"Wait! Can we also get boneless wings, mini cheese burgers, onion rings, and mozzarella sticks," Liz asked.

"Sure thing," The waitress responded.

She strutted out of the confetti and pink filled room, note pad in hand. Maka sighed as she rubbed her eyes.

"Maybe we can have some drinks, but not too many," Maka mumbled.

She couldn't believe she was giving in to even a little bit of this. Liz slapped her on the back.

"That's the spirit!"

Blair took Maka by the arm, leading her to the chair she brought in earlier.

"Present time!"

Maka grimaced at the thought of what could be in the variety of bags.

"Do they even hand out presents at bachelorette parties," Maka asked as she cautiously took the first one.

Blair shrugged, "Just open it already!"

Maka lifted up the tissue paper to reveal ... Handcuffs. She sat in confusion as Liz laughed and poked at Tsubaki's elbow, but then her face reddened as she realized the purpose for them.

It was for her and Soul when they were having ... Oh no.

She watched, stunned, as Blair lifted the bag from her lap and handed her another one.

"Open it, open it, open it," The girls chanted.

She was about to lift up the tissue paper when the waitress walked back, a large plater holding the appetizers in her hand.

The girls turned from Maka to the food, and she sighed in relief. Cautiously she peeked through the tissue paper to check what the gift was, hoping to not be so stunned when she opened it to the other girls.

It looked like one of those candy bracelet things, but Maka couldn't tell. Her face darkened another shade of red when she thought of it being anything different.

"Here's the drinks for the two Ms. Thompson's," Liz called out giving the shake to her sister as the waitress set the food down on the table, "The drink for Ms. Natkatsukasa, and the wine for the star of the hour, Mrs. Evans!"

She held out a glass of brilliant red wine that Maka took, but Maka set it next to her instead of gulping it down right away like Patti was doing to her shake.

"I'm still Ms. Albarn," Maka corrected Liz.

Liz rolled her eyes as she finished taking a sip of her drink, "We're not over teaching at the school right now, Maka. We're at a party. Your party. Brighten up a little, would ya?"

Maka groaned, glaring at the waitress' back as she giggled before she left.

Patti dug right into the mini cheeseburgers will Tsubaki took some onion rings. Blair took a handful of mozzarella sticks, and Liz took some wings before she returned to cheering on the opening of the gifts.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

It took twenty minutes to open all the presents, but mostly because Maka took a five minute break in between all of them to try to hide her embarrassment.

It didn't work.

After finishing the gifts they sat around the table once again, and they chatted through their meals. Without the awful gifts, dumb smiling, and with a little more wine Maka was actually starting to feel a bit better. The music wasn't her taste, but she didn't mind, and the food was actually really good.

"Excuse me ladies," A voice interrupted from the doorway.

In it stood a man wearing a police suit, with black hair and straight white teeth. Blair purred a bit as he stepped in the room, passing along the table until he stood in front of Maka in her pink chair.

"You've got a complaint about noise," He said.

Maka turned to Liz who was laughing like an idiot in her chair. What was going on here? She had gotten a freaking officer on their case, what was so funny about that?

"The complaint is coming from me. I don't think you're making enough," He grinned.

Maka squinted her eyes as she tried to make sense of the situation. Liz was laughing, probably drunk, but the officer ...

And the his shirt came off.

Maka's face instantly turned red. Well, more red. Tsubaki leaned forward a bit, a blush spread on her cheeks, but she was clearly trying to get a peek. Liz and Patti laughed and hollered.

"Hornball," Liz called to Tsubaki, causing the poor woman to stutter.

"Shut up," She grumbled.

The officer started swaying his hips, eyes reaching out to Maka's. She stuttered herself before breaking eye contact with him. She kept her eyes on the wall as she tried to reach for her wallet. This guy was a stripper right? Maybe she could just get him to go away if she ...

His pants came off.

His fucking pants.

He was wearing a g-string.

Maka wanted to scream so badly.

The man reached down to her, turning around as he started to bent over. Oh jeez. This was not looking good. She felt her finger tips brush something thin and papery, so she grabbed the object and pulled it to her eyes. It was a twenty dollar bill. Perfect.

As the man started to over shadow her lap, she stuck the bill in one of his strings as quickly as she possibly could before pushing him up away from her lap.

The man turned around confused, as she lifted herself out of the chair and away from his ass.

"Hey Blair, I think it's your turn," Maka suggested as she sat in a regular chair at the table.

Blair shrugged, seating herself in the pink chair of doom before the stripper started to perform right above her lap.

The other girls had their eyes glued to the man in the g-string, but Maka laid her head in the crock of her crossed arms at the table. She didn't want to be there anymore. She was tired, the little wine she had was quickly wearing off along with her patience, and she didn't even get to finish her meal before Mr. Ass over there interrupted.

She lifted her head as a hand rested on her shoulder, looking up to meet its owner. Red eyes looked back down at her green ones, and nearly wanted to jump him at the moment and tackle him in a bear hug.

Soul pointed to the door, making a point to be pretty quiet.

Maka nodded, and she discretely grabbed her bag before slipping out of the room. As soon as they got out into the hallway of the restaurant, Soul pulled her to him by her hand and pressed his lips to her.

He traced the outside of her lip, but before she allowed him entrance he pulled away and brushed her ear with his words.

"I can give you a much better show than that," He whispered huskily.

Maka smiled for the first time that night before following him back to their apartment.

At least it wasn't that bad of a night after all.


End file.
